


The Blue Belt Bandit

by TracedInAir



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Belt Swap Belt Swap Belt Swap, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Humour, Top Diana, aka Atsuko Kagari; Belt Thief, but also Top Akko I won't let ya girl down like that, no sexy stuff on screen dw this is T
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26512465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedInAir/pseuds/TracedInAir
Summary: The first time Akko stole Diana's belt, it was an accident.Every other time was not.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 61
Kudos: 389





	1. Running Late

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this adorable little fancomic series by Wakeru: https://wakeru-art.tumblr.com/post/628973548454690816/wake-up-part-1-ill-probably-post-the-part-2-later
> 
> Chapter 1 is pretty much just a retelling of the comic, rest of the chapters will be "original material" (i.e. jokes I shamelessly stole from the Discord let's goooooooo)

Akko mumbled happily to herself as the veil of sleep lifted. Memory after wonderful memory of the previous night returned to her in a kaleidoscope of bliss. She scooted closer to Diana, wrapping her arms around-

Nothing. Diana wasn’t there.

“Huhmmm?” Akko grumbled, patting around Diana’s bed for its wayward occupant.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Diana’s voice came from elsewhere.

Akko cracked an eye open, wincing against the harsh sunlight streaming in through the window. That late, huh.

“Di… na…” Akko mumbled. “Why… up?”

“Why? Akko, it’s already ten!” Diana snapped as she flung her clothes on herself.

“So? It’s Sunday,” Akko yawned. The blanket slipped off her as she stretched, Diana flushed a bright red and turned the other way.

“B-be that as it may, I promised Hannah and Barbara I would study with them this morning,” Diana stammered out. “They’re already at the library!”

“Sooo they’re out right now?” Akko made a kissy face.

“Akko.”

“You’re really pretty half-dressed like that…” Akko winked.

“Akko!” Diana shoved her shirt on herself roughly. “It’s morning!”

“…So?” Akko said.

“Please return to your own dorm once you’re fully awake,” Diana continued as if Akko hadn’t said anything at all. “Try not to forget anything.”

“Wha-”

“Oh, one last thing.” Diana poked her head back around the bookcase.

“Yeah?” Akko wiggled her eyebrows.

“…Your bedhead is spectacularly messy, even by your standards. Do make sure you sort it out before leaving.”

With that, Diana made her exit.

Akko sat, dumbstruck, in her girlfriend’s bed. She patted her own hair for a moment, OK so it _was_ pretty messy, but that was beside the point!

 _“Oooh Akko, thank you for last night, you were amazing, love you!”_ Akko mocked Diana’s voice as she threw her own clothes on.

“Yeah right. ‘ _Your hair’s messy.’_ Love you too Diana!” she grumbled.

* * *

“So, how’s my favourite dumbass doing.” Amanda wrapped her arm around Akko’s shoulder with a playful grin.

“Ack! Hey Amanda!” Akko hugged her back. She hadn’t been sure what to do with her day now that she was awake and out of Diana’s dorm - _hair brushed,_ thank you very much - but goofing off with Amanda seemed as good an idea as any. Maybe they could fit in some races!

“Sooo, how was it?” Amanda narrowed her eyes, grinning lecherously.

“H-huh?” Akko scrambled away.

“Come on! You gotta tell me! Lemme guess, Diana said you were the best ever, right?” Amanda winked.

“Of course she did,” Akko grinned victoriously. “She said I was _amazing_ and- wait,” Akko stopped in her tracks, “how did you know?”

“One, you ain’t subtle,” Amanda said. “Seriously, Saturday night hangout and you drag your girlfriend off before it’s even midnight.”

Akko rubbed her neck. “I guess…”

“And _two…”_ Amanda pointed downwards.

Akko suddenly panicked that she’d somehow forgotten her skirt, or had marks on her legs or _knees_ or-

Oh.

The belt around her waist was not the usual red.

“Ah, crap.”

Amanda burst out laughing.

* * *

“Akko!” Diana ran - _ran!_ \- down the hallway towards her, panting heavily. “Y-your belt,” she gasped.

“I know,” Akko said.

“I’m sorry, I must have… taken yours by mistake,” Diana said, looking sheepish.

“Yep.” Akko continued to sulk.

“A-anyway, can I have my belt back before the situation gets any worse?” Diana said. “It’s bad enough that Hannah and Barbara saw, but if one of the _teachers-”_

“Hmph!” Akko folded her arms and turned away.

“Akko, please don’t make a scene,” Diana pleaded. “I don’t have time for this, the girls are waiting for me.”

“I’m making a scene cause you snuck out like a ninja!” Akko snapped back. “You didn’t even say anything about last night! Rude!”

“I-” Diana started, but was powerless against the unstoppable tide of Akko.

“You gotta apologise!” Akko declared. _“And_ tell me I was amazing last night, then _maybe_ I’ll give you your belt back.”

“Akko…” Diana said, clutching her arm and twisting her feet uncomfortably. Ah crap, had Akko gone too far?

“Hmm?”

“I would like to apologise profusely. I awoke in a panic this morning that I was late, and I left your side far too quickly, that was incredibly rude of me.” Diana looked nervous, but she kept her eyes on Akko. “I never meant to hurt you, and I’m truly sorry for having done so. And I- I-”

Diana blinked back a tear. “I love you so much, I’m so sorry.” She flushed a deep red. “And you were… incredible… last night. As always.”

“Fine, I accept your apology,” Akko said with a grin. “But I’m keeping my trophy!” she skipped away, lifting the tail of the blue belt triumphantly.

“Trophy!?” Diana shouted. “That wasn’t the deal!”

“La la la, can’t hear you!” Akko dashed down the hall, laughing as Diana gave chase.

* * *

Akko stopped to catch her breath in an empty corner of the campus. She was pretty sure she’d lost her, _and_ she’d been able to show off her ‘trophy’ to Amanda and Sucy along the way! Supreme victory for Team Kagari!

Footsteps echoed behind her, and Akko dashed into an empty classroom, hoping whoever it was hadn’t seen her.

The door opened behind her.

“Sorry, Profe-” Akko started, raising her hands over her face.

“Akko.”

“H-hi Diana!” Akko said, holding her hands out placatingly. “Fancy seeing _you_ here!”

“Akko.” Diana breathed her name reverently, moving closer. “I wished to apologise more… thoroughly.”

Akko let out an “Eep!” backing up further as Diana moved towards her.

“I was… truly inconsiderate towards you this morning.” Diana glided between Akko’s hands effortlessly. “I wished to show you my appreciation for your efforts-” she paused, lips mere inches from Akko’s own, “-in full.”

Akko whimpered.

Diana kissed her.

Akko melted into the kiss, arms going limp at her side as Diana took control. Her hand found its way to Akko’s shoulder and shoved her back roughly, pushing her back against the wall.

Akko groaned as Diana pressed in again, kissing her hungrily. Akko’s mouth slipped open as she writhed against the wall she was pinned to.

Diana’s other hand trailed down Akko’s side, and Akko’s breath hitched as her hand reached her waist, dug in, and _pulled._

Yanking her belt free.

“Diana!” Akko protested as Diana strode away, a vicious gleam in her eye and a blue belt in her hands.

“Yes, darling?” Diana smiled wickedly. “Oh, my apologies.” She unwrapped Akko’s red belt and threw it to her with a flutter. “There you go.”

Diana strode out of the empty classroom, letting the door swing shut on her way out and leaving a _very_ flustered Akko in her wake.

* * *

“So Akko,” Amanda started as the nine of them gathered for dinner, “whatever happened to your _‘trophy’?”_

“Nothing.” Akko flushed bright red, looking down. “Diana got it back off me, that’s all.”

“How’d you manage _that?”_ Barbara asked. “We saw you chasing Akko down the halls for a while, didn’t think she’d give up that easy.”

“Oh, it was no difficult matter,” Diana said nonchalantly. “I just used my hand.”

The entire table fell into stunned silence.

 _“Wand,_ I used my _wand!”_ Diana protested. “I used magic, of course!”

“Wow, getting lucky twice in one day.” Amanda wrapped her arm around Akko’s shoulder again. “Atta girl!”

“I guess getting _all_ of her clothes off is one way to get her belt off her,” Hannah grinned.

“That is _not_ what-” Diana stammered, blushing.

“At least we didn’t walk in on them this time,” Sucy said to Lotte with a shudder.

“Guyyyyyyys stooooooop,” Akko whined, burying her head in her hands as her friends’ laughter continued.


	2. Atsuko Kagari, Belt Thief

It was the perfect crime. A precision operation. A legendary theft that would be whispered among thieves for generations to come.

Akko had been waiting hours for the ideal moment. Diana had fallen asleep fairly shortly after Akko had finished _finishing_ her, only a couple minutes pillow-talk before she collapsed into blissful sleep. Akko wasn’t even going to pretend that she wasn’t _particularly_ proud of how well that aspect of the plan had gone off. Or got off, as the case may be.

And then she waited. She waited for Hannah and Barbara to return, trying not to giggle at their whispered “Oh thank the _stars_ they’ve already finished.” She waited for their quiet chatter to die down, waited to hear the distant sound of snoring wafting around the corner into Akko and Diana’s private enclave.

The time was at hand. Her prize was ripe for the picking.

Akko inched out of bed. Thankfully, Diana had been little spoon tonight, meaning Akko had - with some reluctance - slipped away from the cuddle an hour or so earlier. Diana stirred a bit at the time, but all that meant was that she wouldn’t be waking now.

Akko’s bare feet landed on the floor, silent as snowfall. She crept forwards, crouching down when she reached the edge of the bed where their clothes had been flung to. Well, most of their clothes. Just because Hannah or Barbara hadn’t accidentally seen her naked yet didn’t mean she was about to _start_ sleeping without her favourite top and shorts in the Blue Dorm.

But speaking of blue… 

Akko’s hand clasped around her prize, lifting it into the air reverently. Even in the dim light she could behold the wonderful blu- wait, no she couldn’t. Everything looked completely damn grey! Was this even Diana’s belt?

Nothing for it, she’d have to steal both.

Akko grabbed both belts, and quietly snuck over to her bag, which she’d left lying open near the bed. Always planning ahead, that was Akko for you. She balled them both up and shoved them into her bag. She’d just have to hope no one noticed her leaving without her belt in the morning.

Which… would be a shame. Ever since that mishap a couple of weeks ago, Diana had made an effort to spend more time with Akko in the mornings after their escapades. If she was being honest, Akko treasured those quiet hours bathed in the gentle glow of the sunrise and her girlfriend’s love almost as much as the nights that preceded them. To give one up would be difficult.

But oh so worth it, she stifled a giggle as she crept back into bed. Diana stirred, mumbling a bit in her sleep as Akko wrapped her arms around her. “Shhh, sleepy Diana,” Akko whispered.

“Mhm.” Diana snuggled back into Akko’s arms.

“Love you.” Akko pressed a kiss into the back of Diana’s head.

“-vyouoo,” Diana whispered back, already halfway to snoring.

* * *

It had gone off without a hitch. Diana, as Akko already knew (Planning ahead! The Akko specialty!) had nothing on the next morning, and Akko had already informed her she had a group project to do with Lotte and Sucy at around 8:30.

So, with some reluctance, Akko got dressed at 8:25, with Diana tutting at her all the while for being late. So what if Akko wanted to spend as much time as possible with her girlfriend before getting away with the perfect crime.

And besides, it’s not like she could be late to a group project that didn’t actually exist.

“Akko, what is that,” Sucy asked, as Akko strode into the Red Dorm wearing a very much Not Red Belt.

“Diana’s belt,” Akko stated proudly.

“I’m aware,” said Sucy, still in her pyjamas. “I meant why are you wearing it?”

“As living proof that I, Atsuko Kagari, am a _mind-blowing sex goddess!”_ Akko declared.

Lotte, who had been peering sleepily over the edge of her bunk, rolled over and went back to bed.

“…I mean, if that’s what you wanna believe,” Sucy yawned.

* * *

“Akko.”

“Yes, Diana?”

“My belt was missing this morning.”

“How curious. What do you think happened to it?”

“I think somebody might have stolen it.”

“How dastardly! Do you have any idea as to who this mysterious, _dashing_ thief could be?”

“I believe I may be able to hazard a guess.”

“Detective Diana, hard at work on the Case of the Blue Belt Bandit!”

“It was you.”

“Whatever would make you think that?”

“You were in my room last night.”

“Wow, let the whole lunch hall know why don’t you.”

“Akko, if there is a single person in this school who is not aware of the extent of our relationship by this point, I would be interested to know why the staff placed their dorm room _under a rock.”_

“Wasn’t aware you bragged so much about us, Diana.”

“Not only were you in my room last night, but you fell asleep after me.”

“Heck yeah I did.”

“Akko.”

“What, embarrassed to let the world know I topped?”

_“Akko.”_

“Yes, love?”

“You are literally wearing my belt right now.”

“Am I?”

“Akko, give me my belt back.”

“Why don’t you come get it?”

“You know fine well I can’t do that here.”

“Isn’t that a shame.”

“I _will_ report you to Professor Finnelan.”

“No you won’t.”

_“Give me my belt back Akko.”_

“Why don’t you head to my dorm after class, and we can make a deal.”

“Lotte, we’re leaving.”

* * *

Diana got her belt back.

Akko stole it again anyway.

* * *

Diana was at the end of her rope. She couldn’t even be at the end of her belt, because Akko had _stolen it, for the seventh time in less than a month._

By this point, Diana was pretty sure an extended dry spell would be the only way to keep her belt safe. After all, Akko had made it _quite_ clear that she only stole her belt after, _ahem,_ let’s just say Diana wasn’t going to be taking _that_ particular route towards protecting her uniform any time soon.

“Yes, Professor Finnelan,” Diana said. “I believe it’s the most effective solution to my current predicament.”

“A more effective solution would be punishing Kagari so that she stops stealing your uniform.” Professor Finnelan shook her head, taking a freshly pressed blue belt from a fairy worker and handing it to Diana.

“I assure you Akko doesn’t need any, ah, punishment.” Diana _really_ should not have said that word out loud while thinking about Akko and the true cause behind her wayward belt. “It’s harmless fun, at the end of the day.”

Finnelan looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. “…Fun. Yes. Well, hopefully she’ll grow out of whatever ridiculous notion possessed her to dress up like a member of the Blue Team soon. Ideas above her station, that one.”

“I’m afraid I have absolutely no idea why she started doing this, Professor.” Diana lied to her face.

* * *

Akko crept out of Diana’s bed, inching towards the pile of clothes on the floor.

A light clicked on.

Akko jumped a mile into the air. “Ack! Diana!”

“Careful, you’ll wake the girls,” Diana whispered.

“I was, uh, just going to the bathro-”

“You were going to steal my belt again.”

“…Yeah I was.”

Diana chuckled. “Go ahead, it’s not like I can stop you anyway.”

Akko eyed her suspiciously. “You’re just gonna let me take it?”

“How about,” Diana slowly pulled the covers off herself, “you earn this one twice over?”

* * *

Akko did, in fact, steal Diana’s belt again. After an hour or so’s distraction.

The next morning, she strode out to the group picnic, blue belt proudly on display for all to see.

Amanda gave her a fist bump, as always. The rest of them rolled their eyes or made vomiting motions, as always. Diana arrived a little late, ready to shout at Akko for her belt back, as alwa-

She didn’t.

Diana was wearing a blue belt.

“Wha-?”

“Good morning, Akko,” Diana greeted her girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek.

“Did- did you borrow one off Hannah or Barbara or something?” Akko asked.

“Nope,” came the twin replies as Diana’s usual entourage joined her.

“I simply asked the staff for another. They readily agreed, considering you haven’t been particularly quiet about your thefts.”

Akko’s mouth opened, dumbfounded. She’d been beaten. Beaten at her own game. Diana had even caught her last night! Is that what she meant about needing to earn it twice?

Well then. If Diana was going to get more belts, there was only one thing for it.

Akko was gonna have to steal those ones too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to various peeps for the inspiration (and direct theft in C's case lol) for some of the bits in this chapter, been a fun one to write!
> 
> Comments appreciated as always!


	3. Akko's Trophies

“Ohayou, Diana!” Akko greeted with a cheery wave.

She was wearing Diana’s belt again, of course.

And another one wrapped around her head ten times as a headband for good measure.

“Akko, our agreement was that you would give me my belt back after you’d had your fun,” Diana sighed.

“Yeah, but you cheated, so I don’t have to play by your rules anymore!” Akko stuck her tongue out, giggling as it nearly flicked off a dangling bit of blue belt.

“You’re not seriously trying to _lick_ my belt are you?” Diana asked, scandalised.

“Not your belt anymore, so why not?” Akko said. “Besides-”

“No. Stop _right_ there.” Diana held a hand up. “I can already envision your next sentence. You’ll make some witty comment about how I _‘don’t normally complain about you using your tongue,’_ or some other such puerile nonsense.”

Akko opened her mouth, then stopped. “Actually yeah that’s _exactly_ what I was gonna say.”

“Do you ever tire of being quite so predictable?”

“You _know_ I never tire, _dear.”_ Akko put on a saccharine grin.

“Hmm?” Diana said. “I seem to recall-”

“Not you _too,”_ Sucy groaned. “It’s bad enough when _she’s_ making sex jokes all day. We get it, you two bang. Happy for you, now could you _stop?”_

Akko turned to her with a furious glare. “Sucy, I had to hear you fantasise about _getting eaten by Vajarois._ ”

“Does anybody have a dose of memory altering potion available?” Diana wondered aloud. “Because I truly, _desperately_ wish to return to a state in which I did not know that information.”

* * *

It got worse.

The next day, Diana passed by Akko _skipping_ with one of her belts while wearing another.

A couple of days later, she was skipping again, except she’d made a rope out of three belts which was being held by a cheering Amanda and less than enthused Stanbot.

The next week… 

“Akko, why are you sneaking around campus, outdoors, at midnight. Do you think curfew is merely something that applies to other people?” Diana sighed, hovering on her broom.

“Uhhh.” Akko stuffed the remainder of a cherry tart into her mouth. “Dummo waf yoo meem Dya-a.”

“And how, pray tell, did you intend to make your way back indoors without being spotted by a prefect?” Diana asked.

Akko swallowed the tart. “You mean aside from the one who already spotted me? Or is Head Girl different?” Akko grinned. “But don’t worry, I have a plan!”

“A plan.”

“Just watch me.” Akko smirked.

Diana’s stomach tried not to do flips at the memory of the first time Akko had said that at the Samhain Festival. Then all the _other_ times she said it once she’d realised the effect it had on Diana.

Akko rounded a corner, and Diana nearly shrieked.

Dangling from the tower that housed the Red Dorm was a chain of six or seven blue belts tied together. Akko grabbed one, gave it a firm tug to check, and started hauling herself up.

“You cannot be serious.”

“I most certainly _can_ be.” Akko kept her eyes upwards, pulling herself up another couple of feet. “Wanna join? I hear there’s a beautiful princess waiting at the top of this tower for any hero brave enough to rescue her.”

“Akko.”

“Or there will be by the time you climb up anyway.” Akko turned to poke her tongue out at Diana.

“Absolutely not.”

“Huh, not like you to miss the opportunity to stare at my butt the whole way up.” Akko hauled herself up a bit further.

Diana flew up, hovering alongside Akko. “But the view from up here is _so_ much more enticing,” Diana whispered close to Akko’s ears.

“Ack!” Akko scrabbled, nearly losing grip on the third belt she’d made it to.

Diana flew up further, casting Akko a sultry glance as she did so. “You had better climb swiftly, the princess doesn’t want to be kept waiting.”

Diana landed gently on the window of the Red Dorm, glancing inside to make sure Lotte and Sucy were asleep. She whipped out her wand, whispering a silencing spell, and throwing a cloaking field over Akko’s bed.

A minute or so later, Akko finished pulling herself through the window, hauling herself onto the sill with a slump, panting for breath and honestly Diana had _no_ idea how her roommates slept through this.

“Well done, brave adventurer,” Diana whispered into her ear. “Unfortunately, your princess is in another castle.”

“As if you know a video game reference,” Akko whispered back, starting to work on pulling up the chain of blue belts.

“And now I must inform you that this once proud castle has fallen under the control of the wicked witch.” Diana pulled close to Akko from behind, kissing her neck gently.

“You’re such a dork,” Akko teased, pulling the last of the belts up.

“You love it.” Diana’s arms wrapped around her.

“Yeah I do.” Akko turned around in Diana’s arms, leaning into her kiss. “Almost as much as I’m gonna love hiding that belt of yours by the time you wake up.”

* * *

“Welcome to the 2019 Luna Nova Relay Race, senior division!” Wangari’s magically enhanced voice rang out. “So-” she turned to her co-commentator, “-Professor DuNord, who do you think are gonna be the ones to watch this year?”

“Well, it would be hard to look past the reigning two-time winners, the Blue Team,” Chariot’s voice boomed unnaturally loud along with Wangari’s. “Particularly team captain Diana Cavendish, who has shown herself time and time again to be completely unmatched when it comes to pure sprinting speed.”

The small crowd of first and second years and a few teachers applauded as Diana definitely did _not_ strike a pose with her teammates. Honest.

“Definitely the prime contenders,” Wangari agreed. “They’re the ones everyone’s gonna be looking to beat if they wanna take the top spot. But don’t forget about our girls, the Green Team!”

“How could I ever,” Chariot laughed softly as Amanda lounged cockily, hanging halfway off the edge of the tower just barely balancing herself with her broom. “After their unfortunate disqualification in 2017, the Green Team had a strong showing last year, finishing a _very_ close second. Amanda O’Neill will be one to watch, of course. She’s an excellent flier, and her agility and general skill with tricky maneuvers may give her the edge with the more difficult course this year.”

“Although I hear they restricted some of Constanze’s inventions this year,” Wangari said sadly. “Can you tell us anything about that?”

“I wasn’t involved in the decision,” Chariot said. “Miss Amalie von Braunschbank Albrechstberger’s inventions were indeed pivotal in the Green Team’s performances in the previous two years, and I hear she was bitterly disappointed that the project known as _‘Die Überrakete 2.0’_ has been deemed unsafe for use in the race.”

“A true shame,” Wangari commiserated. “But how could we forget everyone’s favourite dark horses, a squad you can _never_ count out, the Red Team!”

“They certainly have come a long way from Akko’s - I mean - Atsuko Kagari’s frog-hopping maneuver in 2017.” Chariot smiled. “And lest we forget how close they came to upsetting the Blue Team that year, and then their very respectable fourth place-”

“Wait,” Wangari interrupted. “I thought they were meant to be the _Red_ Team?”

Akko leapt onto the starting podium, her broom flowing behind her with a dazzling stream of blue belts attached.

“Looks like Blue Team have themselves a fan, eh?” Wangari laughed. “Hey Akko, I know she’s your girlfriend and all, but you’re not meant to cheer for her when you’re also in the race!”

Akko shouted something back, but none of the spectators could hear it across the distance. They _could,_ however, see Diana turn bright red and attempt to smack Akko across the head.

“Aww look at all that red Diana’s sporting now, guess she’s cheering the Red Team on too!”

* * *

Akko and Diana stumbled into the Red Dorm, barely able to get their hands off each other for long enough to open the door. As soon as they were inside, Akko slammed the door shut by pushing Diana back against it, kissing her roughly.

“How long-” Diana was interrupted by another hungry kiss, “-do we have?”

“They saw us leaving.” Akko lowered her mouth to Diana’s neck, sucking with just the _barest_ hint of teeth. “They know better.”

Diana’s eyes rolled back, pressing them shut as Akko’s assault on her neck grew bolder, her hands wandering to pull at Diana’s uniform.

Wait a second. Did she see what she thought she-

Diana’s eyes snapped open.

Akko’s bed was literally decorated with a curtain of blue belts.

“Akko. What the fuck.”

Akko kissed Diana’s neck again, slowly, letting her mouth linger. “Oh, you noticed.”

“You did not.”

“I did.” Akko looked up, grinning.

Diana reached between the two, and very deliberately clasped the two buttons Akko had got undone back together.

“Dianaaa,” Akko whined.

“If you seriously believe that I’m about to have sex with you on a bed that you have _covered_ in _my_ stolen belts-”

“Technically the belts are attached to Lotte’s bed, not mine,” Akko said.

“I cannot believe she lets you do that.” Diana rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, she puts up with way worse from me on a daily basis,” Akko admitted.

“True. And the fairies don’t do anything about it?”

“One, the fairies don’t clean my room, Miss Aristocrat,” Akko teased. “And two, they wouldn’t do anything about it even if they did.”

Diana sighed, leaning against the door with her arms folded. Then a horrifying realisation hit her. Akko was friends with all of the fairy workers. _They knew._ They’d been making Diana spare belts for _weeks_ and _they knew why._

“…That does explain why they were so willing to keep making me spares,” Diana sighed.

“I was wondering when you’d figure that out.” Akko grinned, having moved over to the middle of the room. “They’re so sweet about it though! They were all really happy for me when we started dating, only a few _‘sleeping with the enemy’_ jokes.”

“The enemy.” Diana stated, nonplussed.

“Their phrasing, not mine,” Akko said. “I mean I don’t _disagree_ but-”

“Akko, you are _really_ not making any decisions that would help persuade me into that bed of yours any time in the foreseeable future.” Diana stared icily at her.

“Would it help if I hid the belts?”

“…Perhaps.”

“I’m not giving them back though.”

“Of course you aren’t.”

* * *

“Welcome, welcome, treasured guests and friends!” Amanda opened the door. “To this, the Akko’s-19th-birthday-slash-end-of-exams-2020 combination party! Please sanitise your hands before entering the Designated Partying Zone.”

“Amanda, the school’s been in an isolated bubble since _February.”_ Hannah rolled her eyes, spraying some sanitiser onto her hands anyway.

“Still a reasonable precaution, girls.” Diana nodded, looking around the Green Dorm curiously. “Where are the other guests?”

“Glad you asked!” Amanda said, gesturing to Constanze. Constanze slammed a button as Amanda shoved Hannah forwards, sending her screaming down the large chasm that had suddenly replaced Constanze’s bed.

“That can’t possibly be safe.” Diana looked dubiously into the hole.

“It’s fine, there’s a couch at the bottom.” Amanda shrugged. “Pretty huge one too, Akko brought it for Conzy here one day, no idea where she found it.

“Huh.”

“Yeah, weird.” Amanda shrugged. “Anyway, off you go!”

“Wai-!” Diana couldn’t enquire any further as she went flying down and landed in a _mine cart_ of all things. _This_ was beneath the Green Dorm the whole time? The cart hurtled forwards, and Diana nearly fell off, gripping on for dear life as she was taken down a narrow tunnel decorated in festive streamers and banners and-

 _Why_ was there a blue belt decorating the tunnel?

Her train of thought ended around the same time the mine cart flung her out and onto a large sofa beneath, with Hannah scrambling out of the way at the last second.

Huh, it really was huge.

Weird.

As Diana herself dodged out of the way of Barbara landing a few seconds behind her, she looked around the truly cavernous room with not just a little bit of awe. She’d known the Luna Nova dungeons were extensive, but this was… something else.

However, at this moment most of that ‘something else’ was dominated by an enormous banner emblazoned with the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKKO!’

Written entirely in blue belts.

“How…” Diana stared in amazement, too _impressed_ to even be angry.

“I mean, we have done it _a lot_ this year.” Akko appeared from behind her with a grin and a hug.

“But… Akko, there must be at least thirty belts up there,” Diana said in disbelief.

“Thirty-six,” Akko confirmed. “We used two for each letter.”

“And just think,” said Amanda, who had performed a flip off the mine cart because _of course_ she had. “Every single one o’ them belts represents one time that you and Akko did the do.”

“I am aware,” Diana said.

“Must be surreal seeing it up like that, huh? Imagine telling yourself from three years ago that she’d end up sleeping with Akko _that_ many times.” Amanda grinned.

“My younger and more foolish self was unaware of what she was missing,” Diana said, to a low whistle from Amanda. “And, more pertinently, those merely represent the occasions on which Akko made it away with my belt after the matter. I know for a _fact_ the true count is significantly higher…”

* * *

“Lady Diana,” Anna said with a stiff nod, “I trust our new guest has not been too troublesome for you?”

“No, Anna, I have not been averse to having my long term girlfriend move into my home.” Diana smiled gently. “Your concern is appreciated, however. Was there anything else?”

“We were going through the young lady’s clothes for laundry,” Anna started.

“I thought Akko requested that you didn’t?” Diana said.

“My lady, you _have_ seen the state of the guest room since her occupancy?” Anna arched a single eyebrow.

Diana nodded, not trusting herself to comment on _quite_ how many times she and Akko had seen each other’s rooms since she’d taken up permanent residency in Cavendish Manor.

“As I was saying, we found something… alarming,” Anna said, walking down the hallway.

“Oh?” Diana’s heart raced a little, moving to follow her. She couldn’t think of anything particularly illicit of Akko’s they might have found. The only thing that came to mind that she _really_ would not like any of her staff seeing was that racy photo she sent Akko a few months back, but she trusted that Akko would have the good sense to keep it hidden, and that Anna would have the sense to _not_ bring it up if she did find it.

The door to the laundry room opened.

There, on the table in the centre of the room, were several dozen freshly pressed and laundered Luna Nova uniform belts. One red, the rest blue.

“I _can_ explain,” Diana said, “but I don’t want to.”

“I understand, my lady.”

* * *

It was finally the day.

The delicate box sat in Diana’s pocket like it was burning a hole. Surely it was visible for miles around. Surely Akko could tell. She’d been preparing for weeks, she _should_ have been ready by now, but Diana found herself a flustered mess all day. She was stuttering in response to basic questions, zoning out when Akko was talking, and just generally making a disaster of herself. She’d even forgotten the name of the restaurant that _she_ booked.

They’d made it to the park, and were walking leisurely towards the centre. It would be unoccupied, Hannah and Barbara had assured her. Just the two of them, and the beauty of Tokyo at night.

Just a few seconds to go. She could do it.

“Hey, Diana?” Akko said, looking down bashfully. “I have uh, something to ask.”

“Yes?” Diana was broken free from her reverie as Akko-

Dropped.

To.

One.

Knee.

“…Will you make me the happiest woman in the whole world?” Akko fought to keep her eyes on Diana, holding up an open box with a sapphire ring.

Diana froze. She was completely unable to respond. _‘Say something idiot!’_ her brain screamed at her. Akko was proposing! _She was proposing and Diana hadn’t said anything yet!_

“How,” Diana’s voice cracked and she knew tears were flowing freely. “How can I, you’ve already made _me_ the happiest woman alive?”

She pulled out her own box, opening to reveal a ruby ring. Synthetic, of course. Akko had gone on at enough length about the human rights and fairy rights abuses of the gem mining industry that Diana was hardly going to make that mistake and _why_ was she thinking about this right now when Akko was leaping off the ground and kissing her while screaming “Yes! Yes of course!”

“I love you so much,” Diana sighed contentedly as Akko slipped the ring onto her finger.

“I love you so much more!” Akko grinned.

Diana lifted the ring, and placed it to Akko’s finger, mind filling with images of the wonderful life that lay ahead of her with this incredible, impossible woman who would be a part of it fore-

An image suddenly appeared in her mind, unbidden.

An image of her wedding day.

Decorated with a hundred blue belts.

“Akko, before I agree to marry you, I need you to promise me one thing.”

“Yeah? Oh, is it about the ring? Don’t worry, it’s synthetic, as ethical as it gets. Goblin who made it’s a buddy of mine,” Akko said with a grin.

“No, but that’s very sweet, thank you.” Diana smiled. “Not that, I want to make one thing very clear. I will marry you on _one_ condition.”

“Anything.”

“If I see a _single_ blue belt at our wedding, I _will_ leave you at the altar.”

So maybe she hadn’t _expected_ her memory of proposing to Akko to involve quite so much difficulty in getting the ring on because her fiancée - _fiancée!_ \- wouldn’t stop laughing, but honestly, she wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this really did turn into pure crack huh.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! Comments welcome as always! And thanks again to Wakeru for the inspiration!


End file.
